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Yes Sir!

Posted by kinxfetish on May 21, 2013
Posted in: Leather Fetish Wear, Uncategorized. Tagged: BDSM, master, Slave. 1 Comment

In BDSM, Master/slave is a relationship in which one individual (the submissive) gives to another (the dominant) ultimate authority over them. It is a form of dominance and submission. The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship is structured in terms of slavery, because of the association of the term with ownership of the slave and the rights of a master to their body, as property or chattel. The dominant is often called Master if male, or Mistress if female.

The owner/slave relationship is usually entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, which is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Outside the BDSM community, the relationship of Master/slave is sometimes regarded as a form of consensual sexual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. The master/slave relationship refers to the relationship between the individuals involved, and does not necessarily require any specific acts, sexual or otherwise, though sexual activity is usually an aspect of the relationship. The sexual aspect could be conventional, and not necessarily BDSM. A slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.

Some participants regard the relationship as sexual roleplay, while others enter into the relationship on the basis of a highly committed, long-term, submissive lifestyle.

Some practitioners feel the difference between submissive and slave is the degree of submission. However, many who are involved in Master/slave relationships see the difference as being conceptual. For example, some slaves may not have a naturally submissive personality, but choose to surrender their will and volition to another.

Various forms of symbolism are sometimes used to affirm the owner/slave relationship. These include the wearing the owner’s collar, being registered in a slave register, adopting (sometimes legally changing to) a name chosen by the owner, or engaging in a public declaration or ritualized ceremony of some type.

Some people draw up a slave contract that defines the relationship in explicit detail. These contracts may also deal with domestic arrangements (such as cleanliness, home duties) and interpersonal relationship matters (such as issues of deference, language, etc.), besides the sexual arrangements. Typically, they would provide that the master has the only say in all matters relating to the body and manners of the slave, including clothing, underwear, social relations outside of the arrangement, etc. However, these contracts are understood as not having any legal weight and are not intended to be used in a court of law, but are an understanding and agreement between the individuals.

In some traditional rituals, after signing a slave contract, many people celebrate the commitment to the relationship with a collaring ceremony, which can be simple or elaborate and friends are usually invited. The slave then wears a collar, which symbolizes their status. The collar may be a piece of neckwear, or may be a bracelet or other piece of jewellery that symbolizes slave status. These collars are generally not removed unless or until the relationship is dissolved, although some slaves are permitted to wear a more subdued (or less obtrusive) one outside of the home – for example during work or in social situations with people who may feel uncomfortable by them.

Slave training is a BDSM activity usually involving a consensual power exchange between two people taking on the roles of a master or mistress and a slave. Typically this involves changing the slave’s behavior in a manner that is pleasing to the master or mistress, perhaps instructing the slave to follow a set of rules that the master or mistress has set out.

Slave training is a learning process both for the slave (or submissive) and for the master or mistress, or dominant. Training will usually be set out and defined clearly before it begins. The master or mistress will teach the slave how to speak, act and think in a way that is pleasing to them. The slave, in return, gets pleasure from being able to make their master or mistress happy. Or, the slave gets a reward like food, a bed, etc.

In some instances, in more extreme relationships, it may also involve some forms of aversion training. This could include use of spanking, cropping or clamping to encourage compliance, and to permit the slave to find an excuse for complying in their own minds. If the “slave” being trained is also a masochist, they may enjoy painful punishment; therefore punishment may need to be psychological or emotional, to create the unpleasant result that the punishment requires.

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Female Domination VS Submission

Posted by kinxfetish on March 14, 2013
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: BDSM, Domina, Domination, Dominatrix, Femdomme, Mistress, obedience, passive, roleplay, submission. Leave a comment

Female dominance (or femdom) is those BDSM relationships and BDSM scenes in which the dominant partner is female. Often a dominant woman, she may prefer to be called a, Femdomme, Domina, or Dominatrix, depending on context or personal preference. A female dominant in a master/slave relationship is often termed a Mistress, not to be confused with the colloquial usage of mistress as a kept sexual partner without a similarly formalized power relationship.

Generally, the activities of a Mistress would consist of anything from role reversal to more extreme acts of BDSM such as torture.

As with other BDSM orientations, there are no predefined set of activities that necessarily fall within the sphere of female dominance. Typically, the female dominant determines the actual activities within the context of a consensual encounter.

Activities can include strap-on dildo penetration (pegging), in which the dominant partner performs anal sex on the submissive partner, face sitting or smothering, which both tend to focus on the submissive partner giving the dominant partner cunnilingus, or in some instances “forced” feminization of a male partner. The dominant female may also have the submissive male perform acts of fellatio on her strap-on dildo or even engage in either vaginal or anal intercourse after which felching would be performed by the male. In addition to this the female (having full control of the situation) could engage in intercourse with other men or women and force the male to watch or date on her own, and again engage in felching from the other men.

Female submission describes a relationship in which a female submits to usually the dominance of a man. The submission can be voluntary and consensual or may be obtained as a result of rape or duress. The dominant partner is usually a man, but could also be another woman, or more than one person. The term “female submission” most commonly refers to a woman who derives sexual pleasure from the act of submission to men, the pleasure arising passively, incidentally, as a side-effect of the practice of submission to a man.

Submission can take the form of passivity or obedience in relation to any aspect of conduct and behaviour. Submission can be to a partner in an interpersonal relationship, such as allowing the sex partner to initiate all sexual activity as well as setting the time and place and sex position. It can also be in relation to the type of sexual activity that the partners will engage in, including non-conventional sex such as anal sex, or BDSM or sexual roleplay. Some sex positions, such as doggy style, require for a woman to be passive and submissive while an active sex partner performs sex acts on her. Obedience may be a part of a sexual roleplay or activity, and can also be in the relation to the style of dress, if any, or behavior or any other manner. In fact, any act that is performed on a passive woman, such as undressing her, may be regarded as submissive behaviour on the part of the woman.

Submission may be manifested in a multitude of ways whereby a woman relinquishes sexual or personal control to another, such as acts of servitude, submission to humiliation or punishment such as erotic spanking, or other activities, at times in association with bondage. The level and type of submission can vary from person to person, and from one time to another. Some women choose to include occasional sexual submission in an otherwise conventional sex life. For example, a woman may adopt a submissive role during a sexual activity to overcome a sexual inhibition she may have. A woman may choose to submit full time, becoming a lifestyle slave.

Some people derive erotic pleasure from the submissiveness of a sex partner, which they may regard as a turn-on; and some people regard obvious passivity as a form of feminine flirting or seduction. Some women sexually submit to the sexual wishes of their partner for the pleasure of the partner, which may itself result in sexual pleasure for the submissive woman. Some feminist writers argue that female sexual submission can amount to sexual objectification.

When female subservience occurs as a consequence of a social system in which males, either as fathers or husbands hold legal or de facto authority and power over related women, children, and household property, the arrangement is generally known as patriarchy and has historically been the norm in nearly all human cultures.

What is BDSM?

Posted by kinxfetish on February 12, 2013
Posted in: Leather Fetish Wear, Uncategorized. 6 Comments

BDSM characterizes a range of practices and expressions, both erotic and non-erotic, involving restriction, sensory stimulus, role-playing, and a variety of relational dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who don’t consider themselves as practicing BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community and/or subculture is usually dependent on self-identification and shared experience. Interest in BDSM can range from one-time experimentation to a lifestyle, and some debate has begun over whether a BDSM or kink sexual identity also constitutes a form of sexual orientation.

The term BDSM is believed to have been coined as a compound initialism in the 1990s to combine communities and practices that had a significant amount of crossover – bondage and discipline (B&D or B/D), dominance and submission (D&S or D/s), and sadomasochism or sadism and masochism (S&M or S/M). BDSM is currently frequently used as a catch-all phrase to includes a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures which may or may not fit well into the original three intended categories. With an ethos of “your kink is OK!” many BDSM communities welcome anyone with a non-normative streak who identifies with the community; this may include cross-dressers, extreme body mod enthusiasts, animal players, latex or rubber aficionados, and others.

Although it’s increasingly commonfor couples, particularly younger couples, to have “power neutral” relationships and/or play styles, activities and relationships within a BDSM context are often characterized by the participants’ taking on complementary, but unequal roles; thus, the idea of informed consent of both the partners becomes essential. Typically participants who are active – applying the activity – are known as tops, those who exercise control over others are commonly known as dominants, and those who inflict pain are known as sadists. These are often the same person, and the terms are sometimes used interchangeably. Similarly, those participants who are recipients of the activities are typically known as bottoms, those who are controlled by their partners as submissives, and those who receive pain as masochists; again, these are frequently the same person and the terms are sometimes used interchangeably. Individuals who alternate between top/dominant and bottom/submissive roles – whether from relationship to relationship or within a given relationship – are known as switches, though the term is occasionally seen as derogatory or unnuanced and is rejected by many who might simplistically fit the definition. Precise definition of roles and self-identification is a common subject of debate, reflection, and discussion within the community.

BDSM has become an umbrella term for certain kinds of erotic behavior between consenting adults, but there is little that unites all its disparate subcultures.

Terminology for roles varies widely within the various BDSM subcultures. Top and Dominant are widely recognized for those partner(s) in the relationship or activity who are, respectively, the physically active or controlling participants. Bottom and Submissive are widely recognized terms for those partner(s) in the relationship or activity who are, respectively, the physically receptive or controlled participants. The interaction between Tops and Bottoms—where physical and/or mental control of the Bottom is surrendered to the Top—is sometime known as power exchange, whether in the context of an encounter or a relationship.

BDSM actions can often take place during a specific period of time agreed to by both parties, referred to as “play”, “a scene” or “a session”. Participants usually derive pleasure from this even though many of the practices—such as inflicting pain or humiliation or being restrained—would be unpleasant under normal circumstances. Sexual intercourse—be it oral, anal or vaginal—may occur within a session; but it is not essential. Such explicit sexual interaction is seen only rarely in public play spaces, and it is sometimes specifically banned by the rules of a party or playspace.

The fundamental principles for the exercise of BDSM require that it should be performed with the informed consent of all involved parties. Since the 1980s, many practitioners and organizations have adopted the motto (originally from the statement of purpose of GMSMA – a gay SM activist organization) “Safe, sane and consensual”, commonly abbreviated as “SSC”, which means that everything is based on safe activities, that all participants be of sufficiently sound/sane mind to consent, and that all participants do consent. It is mutual consent which makes a clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and such crimes as sexual assault or domestic violence.

Some BDSM practitioners prefer a code of behavior that differs from “SSC” and described as “Risk Aware Consensual Kink” (RACK), indicating a preference of a style in which the individual responsibility of the involved parties is emphasized more strongly, with each participant being responsible for his or her own well-being. Advocates of RACK argue that SSC can hamper discussion of risk because no activity is truly “safe”, and that discussion of even low-risk possibilities is necessary for truly informed consent. Further, they argue that setting a discrete line between “safe” and “not-safe” activities ideologically denies consenting adults the right to evaluate risks vs. rewards for themselves (and that some adults will be drawn to certain activities regardless of the risk), and that BDSM play – particularly higher-risk play or edgeplay – should be treated with the same regard as extreme sports; with both respect and the demand that practitioners educate themselves and practice to decrease risk. RACK may be seen as focusing primarily upon awareness and informed consent, rather than accepted safe practices. Consent is the most important criterion here. The consent and compliance for a sadomasochistic situation can be granted only by people who are able to judge the potential results. For their consent, they must have relevant information (extent to which the scene will go, potential risks, if a safeword will be used, what that is, and so on.) at hand and the necessary mental capacity to judge. The resulting consent and understanding is occasionally summarized in a written “contract”; an agreement of what can and cannot take place.

In general, BDSM play is usually structured such that it is possible for the consenting partner to withdraw his or her consent during a scene.  For example, by using a safeword that was agreed on in advance. Use of the agreed safeword (or occasionally a “safe symbol” such as dropping a ball or ringing a bell) is seen by some as an explicit withdrawal of consent. Failure to honor a safeword is considered serious misconduct and could even change the sexual consent situation into a crime, depending on the relevant law, since the bottom has explicitly revoked his or her consent to any actions which follow the use of the safeword. For other scenes, particularly in established relationships, a safeword may be agreed to signify a warning (“this is getting too intense”) rather than explicit withdrawal of consent; and a few choose not to use a safeword at all. In some scenes it may be impossible for consent to be withdrawn in the middle of a scene – or the bottom may have the ability to revoke consent for a relationship as a whole, but not for a particular scene. This is sometimes the case for “punishment scenes” between master/slave couples or for some extreme or edgeplay scenes which may include abductions, rape play, or interrogation. This scene dynamic may be referred to as “consensual nonconsent.”

Safety

Aside from the general advice related to safe sex, BDSM sessions often require a wider array of safety precautions than vanilla sex (sexual behavior without BDSM elements).

In theory, to ensure consent related to BDSM activity, pre-play negotiations are commonplace, especially among partners who do not know each other very well. In practice, pick-up scenes at clubs or parties may sometimes be low in negotiation (much as pick-up sex from singles bars may not involve much negotiation or disclosure). Ideally, these negotiations concern the interests and fantasies of each partner and establish a framework. This kind of discussion is a typical “unique selling proposition” of BDSM sessions and quite commonplace. Additionally, safewords are often arranged to provide for an immediate stop of any activity if any participant should so desire. Safewords are, by definition, not commonly used words during any kind of play. Words such as “no”, “stop”, and “don’t”, are often not appropriate as a safeword if the roleplaying aspect includes the illusion of non-consent. A safeword ought to be something both parties can remember and call to mind or recognize when things are either not going as planned or have crossed a threshold one cannot handle. The most common used form of safewords are “green”, “yellow”, and “red”. “Red” meaning to stop and there would be no further play. “Yellow” being, “This is getting too intense”. “Green” meaning that everything is okay. At most clubs and group-organized BDSM parties and events, Dungeon monitors provide a safety net for the people playing there, ensuring that house rules are followed and safe words respected.

BDSM participants need to understand practical safety aspects. For instance, they must recognize that parts of the body can be damaged, such as nerves and blood vessels by contusion, or skin that can be scarred. Using crops, whips, or floggers, the top’s fine motor skills and anatomical knowledge can make the difference between a satisfying session for the bottom, and a highly unpleasant experience that may even entail severe physical harm. The very broad range of different BDSM “toys” and physical and psychological control techniques often requires a far-reaching knowledge of details related to the requirements of the individual session, such as anatomy, physics, and psychology. Despite these risks, BDSM activities usually result in far less severe injuries than sports like boxing and football, and BDSM practitioners do not visit emergency rooms more often than the general population.

It is necessary to be able to identify each person’s psychological squicks or “freakouts” in advance in order to avoid them. Such losses of emotional balance due to sensory or emotional overload are a fairly commonly discussed issue. It is important to follow their reactions empathetically and continue or stop accordingly. For some players, sparking “freakouts” or deliberately using triggers may be a desired outcome.

Aspects

The initialism BDSM includes psychological and physiological facets:

  • Bondage & Discipline (B&D)
  • Dominance & Submission (D&S)
  • Sadism & Masochism (or Sadomasochism) (S&M)
  • Types of Play

This model for differentiating among these three aspects of BDSM is increasingly used in literature today. Nevertheless, it is only an attempt at phenomenological differentiation. Individual tastes and preferences in the area of sexuality may overlap among these areas, which are discussed separately here.

Bondage and discipline

Bondage and Discipline are two aspects of BDSM that do not seem to relate to one another because of the type of the activities involved, but they have conceptual similarities, and that is why they appear jointly. Contrary to the other two types, B/D does not define the Tops and Bottoms itself, and is used to describe the general activities with either partner being the receiver and the giver.

The term “Bondage” describes the practice of Physical restraining. Bondage is usually, but not always, a sexual practice. While bondage is a very popular variation within the larger field of BDSM, it is nevertheless sometimes differentiated from the rest of this field. Studies among BDSM practitioners in the US have shown that about half of all men find the idea of bondage to be erotic; many women do as well. Strictly speaking, bondage means binding the partner by tying their appendages together; for example, by the use of handcuffs or by lashing their arms to an object. Bondage can also be achieved by spreading the appendages and fastening them with chains to a St. Andrews cross or spreader bars.

The term “Discipline” describes the Psychological restraining, with the use of rules and punishment to control overt behavior. Punishment can be pain caused physically (such as caning), humiliation caused psychologically (such as a public flagellation) or loss of freedom caused physically (for example, chaining the Bottom to the foot of a bed). Another aspect is the structured training of the Bottom.

Dominance and submission

“Dominance and submission” is a set of behaviors, customs and rituals relating to the giving and accepting of control of one individual over another in an erotic or lifestyle context. It explores the more mental aspect of BDSM. This is also the case in many relationships not considering themselves as sadomasochistic; it is considered to be a part of BDSM if it is practiced purposefully. The range of its individual characteristics is thereby wide.

Examples of mentally oriented practices are education games, during which the dominant requires certain forms of behavior from the submissive. Special forms include erotic roleplay like ageplay, in which a difference in age, either real or enacted, formulates the background; or petplay. Concerted deployed sexual rejection exercised on the partner can be an aspect of Dominance and Submission as well. The most established and probably most cliché set form of dominance and submission is Dominance and slavery. These can be administered for the short duration of a session among otherwise-emancipated partners, but also can be integrated into everyday life indefinitely. In a few relationships, it leads as far as total submission of one partner in the truest sense of the phrase total power exchange. Compensating elements of the total dominance and submission are care and devotion complementing one another, thus facilitating stable relationships. The consensual submission of the submissive is sometimes demonstrated to others by symbols indicating his/her belonging to the dominant, such as wearing a collar, special tattoos, piercings, a very short haircut or a bald head.

Often, “slave contracts” are set out in writing to record the formal consent of the parties to the power exchange, stating their common vision of the relationship dynamic. The purpose of this kind of agreement is primarily to encourage discussion and negotiation in advance, and then to document that understanding for the benefit of all parties. Such documents have not been recognized as being legally binding, nor are they intended to be. These agreements are binding in the sense that the parties have the expectation that the negotiated rules will be followed. Often other friends and community members may witness the signing of such a document in a ceremony, and so parties violating their agreement can result in loss of face, respect or status with their friends in the community.

In general as compared to conventional relationships, BDSM participants go to great lengths to negotiate the important aspects of their relationships in advance, and to take great care in learning about and following safe practices.

Sadomasochism

The term sadomasochism is derived from the words sadism and masochism . In the context of consensual erotic activities, sadism and masochism are not strictly accurate terms; there is a significant difference from the medical or psychological usage of both terms. Sadomasochism refers to the aspects of BDSM surrounding the exchange of physical or emotional pain. Sadism describes sexual pleasure derived by inflicting pain, degradation, humiliation on another person or causing another person to suffer. On the other hand, the masochist enjoys being hurt, humiliated, or suffering within the consensual scenario. Sadomasochistic scenes sometimes reach a level that appear more extreme or cruel than other forms of BDSM – for example, when a masochist is brought to tears or is severely bruised – and is occasionally unwelcome at BDSM events or parties. Sadomasochism does not imply enjoyment through causing or receiving pain in other situations (for example, accidental injury, medical procedures).

Discipline often incorporates sadomasochistic aspects, though some sadomasochists distance themselves from D/s practices such as punishment. Sadomasochism is practiced in isolation relatively rarely, though some masochists report biting, pinching, or even stun-gunning themselves as a prelude to, or as part of, masturbation.

In D/S the Dominant is the Top and the submissive is the Bottom. In S/M the Sadist is usually the Top and the Masochist the Bottom, but these roles are frequently more complicated or jumbled (as in the case of Dominant Masochists who may arrange for their submissive to carry out s/m activities on them). As in B/D the declaration of the Top/Bottom may be required, though Sadomasochists may also play without any Power Exchange at all, with both partners equally in control of the play.

Physical aspects

On a physical level BDSM is commonly misconceived to be “all about pain”. Most often though BDSM practitioners are primarily concerned with power, humiliation, and pleasure. Of the three categories of BDSM only sadomasochism specifically requires pain, but this is typically a vehicle for feelings of humiliation, dominance, etc. The aspects of D/S and B/D may not include physical suffering at all, but include the sensations inherited by different emotions of the mind. Dominance & Submission of power is an entirely different experience, and is not always psychologically associated with physical pain. Many BDSM activities might not involve any kind of pain or humiliation, but just the exchange of Powers (Power Exchange). During the activities, the practitioners may feel endorphins comparable to the so-called “runner’s high” or to the afterglow of orgasm. The corresponding trance-like mental state is also known as “subspace” for the submissive, or “topspace” for the dominant. Some use the term “body stress” to describe this physiological sensation. This experience of algolagnia is important, but is not the only motivation for many BDSM practitioners. The philosopher Edmund Burke defines this sensation of pleasure derived from pain by the word sublime. There is a wide array of BDSM practitioners who take part in sessions for which they do not receive any personal gratification. They enter such situations solely with the intention to allow their partners to fulfill their own needs and/or fetishes. They do this in exchange of money for the session activities.

In some BDSM sessions, the Top exposes the Bottom to a wide range of sensual impressions, for example: pinching, biting, scratching with fingernails, spanking or the use of various objects such as crops, whips, liquid wax, icecubes, Wartenberg wheels, erotic electrostimulation or others. Fixation by handcuffs, ropes or chains may be used as well. The repertoire of possible “toys” is limited only by the imagination of both partners. To some extent, everyday items like clothes-pins, wooden spoons or plastic wrap are used as pervertables. It is commonly considered that a pleasurable BDSM experience during a session is very strongly dependent upon the top’s competence and experience and the bottom’s physical and mental state at the time of the session. Trust and sexual arousal help the partners enter a shared mindset. Some BDSM practitioners compare related sensations with musical compositions and representation, in which single sensual impressions are the musical notes of the situation. From this point of view, different sensuous impressions are combined to create a total experience leaving a lasting impression.

The Art of Shibari

Posted by kinxfetish on December 4, 2012
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: erotic restraint, fetish, Nawashi, power exchange, rope, Shibari. Leave a comment

Shibari, more correctly known as Kinbaku is an ancient Japanese artistic form of rope bondage that has many styles and uses. It is related in style to other traditional Japanese arts such as Ikebana, Sumi-e (black ink painting) and Chanoyu (the tea ceremony). Among the many uses of Shibari are dynamic living sculpture, shared meditative practice, deep relaxation for flexibility of mind and body, expression of power exchange, and intimate erotic restraint.

In Shibari (the action of tying someone up) the Nawashi (rope artist) creates almost geometric patterns and shapes that contrast wonderfully with the female body’s natural curves and recesses. Visually, the tight ropes and their texture provide a counterpoint to smooth skin and curves. The hard edges of the rope reinforce the softness of the body’s graceful shape: the model is like a canvas, and the rope is paint and brush. This contrast is even emphasized by the use of Junoesque models, whose generous curves are squeezed by the ropes to create more pronounced shapes and shadows.

From antiquity to today, religious ceremonies in Japan involve ropes and ties to symbolize connections among people and the divine, as well as to delineate sacred spaces and time. The art of Japanese bondage has a long tradition and has been perfected over many centuries. It serves not only as binding but also as body adornment, and the pressure made by cords can employ Shiatsu techniques.

Shibari is a combination of bondage effects as most of us know them (power, helplessness), but also beauty and aesthetics (it can be compared to Japanese Ikebana, the 700 year-old Japanese art of flower arranging). The intense massage by the ropes and knots is very similar to acupuncture techniques and Shiatsu (a form of Japanese massage).

Types of rope

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Both natural fibre ropes, and synthetic ropes can be used for bondage, though each has their own properties and may be more suitable in certain situations. In the images on this website, hemp and jute ropes are most commonly used, with nylon being used for photoshoots involving water.

Natural fibre ropes:

Natural fibre ropes are twisted, rather than braided, and are preferred by some simply due to the aesthetically pleasing marks left on the skin after being tied. Hemp, jute, and linen ropes are also very strong, yet soft enough to be used for bondage, and with enough friction to hold any knots securely.

Hemp: Hemp fibres come from various strains of the Cannabis sativa plant, and produce a strong, reasonably soft rope, with high enough friction to hold a knot securely. The rope can be fairly rough when untreated, but boiling, washing, and oiling as detailed below will result in a soft rope that is perfect for our purposes. Hemp rope has a very distinctive odour, and just smelling the rope is often enough to get a rope bottom in the right frame of mind for a rope scene. Hemp tends to be the most common rope used for shibari in the West, as it is generally easier to obtain than Jute

Jute: Jute fibres are produced from plants in the Corchorus genus. Jute rope has very similar properties to hemp rope, though it is a little lighter, smoother, and has a different smell. Jute rope is the most common rope used for shibari in Japan, but is relatively difficult to find in the West

Linen: Linen fibres are produced from the flax plant, (usually Linum usitatissimum).The rope produced is very similar to hemp rope, but tends to be a little softer and ‘fluffier’, and lacks the distinctive smell of hemp. Linen ropes are not that commonly used for bondage, but are perfectly suitable for the task.

Manilla, sisal and coir ropes are often easier to find than the above three types of rope, but are not suitable for bondage as the fibres are thicker and likely to splinter, making the rope very scratchy, and hard to tie securely.

Cotton: Cotton is also a natural fibre, but cotton rope is very different from the types of rope listed above. It can be made into twisted or braided rope, which is much softer on the skin than other natural fibre ropes, but it isn’t as strong. The rope doesn’t have as much friction as hemp rope, so knots are more likely to slip, and when under tension it has more of a stretch, meaning the knots can tighten and be more difficult to undo easily. Cotton rope can be used for the majority of bondage positions, but isn’t recommended for suspension or partial suspension

Synthetic ropes:

Nylon is the most commonly used synthetic rope for bondage. It is very smooth and soft on the skin, it is strong, and easy to work with. However it has much less friction than natural fibre ropes, so extra knots or wraps are often required to hold the ropework firmly in place. One advantage it has over natural ropes is that it doesn’t shrink when wet, so can be safely used in rope scenes involving water. Nylon rope is generally braided, although twisted rope can sometimes be found. It is easy to dye, so a wide variety of colours are available.

Parachute cord is very very strong, reasonably soft, and holds knots well, but is of too small a diameter to be useful for anything other than decorative bondage, or male genital bondage.

Polypropylene rope is widely available, but is unsuitable for bondage, it is very hard and scratchy, and doesn’t hold knots securely. Likewise, climbing ropes, while very strong, are generally too thick to use for bondage, and form bulky knots.

Length and diameter of rope.

Diameter: For a good ‘all-round’ bondage rope, a diameter of 6mm is generally preferred. This is large enough not to put undue pressure on the body (though several wraps are needed), and aesthetically looks ‘right’ on the vast majority of body types. 8mm or larger diameter ropes are sometimes used for simple bondage involving fewer wraps, or on people with a larger build. 4 and 5mm ropes can be used for decorative bondage, face/head bondage, or male genital bondage, but are too small and tend to dig in too much to be useful for many other ties.

Length: In Japan, all the ropes used are 7 metres long, and have knotted ends to allow additional ropes to be joined easily when the tie requires more rope. In the West, people often have a selection of lengths of rope, and pick the right length for the particular tie they are doing. Generally lengths used are 5 and 10 metres. Longer ropes are used for certain ties, such as rope corsets, but can be a little unwieldy to work with. The Japanese method of using shorter ropes and joining them means the bondage is slightly easier to perform, as you don’t have very long trailing lengths of rope.

Basic Tying Instruction

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50 shades – Mommy porn or Women’s Awakening to BDSM

Posted by kinxfetish on October 22, 2012
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: 50 shades of grey, BDSM, blindfold, dominance, fantasies, feminist, porn, Story of O, submission, whips. 3 Comments

After the release of the erotic novel by British author E. L. James ‘50 Shades of Grey’ the intrigue and impulse for the sexually fantastical has become a sensation that is not dying off any time soon. Businesses are capitalising in every way they can, ranging from sex toys, 50 Shades kits to Shades-themed fashions, accommodations and even marketing blitzes like baby clothes, t-shirts and the like.
The term ‘mommy-porn’ has become succinct with the 50 Shades novels; yet such porn has been around all this time and is freely accessible without generating the hype we are now seeing. 50 Shades has merely opened doors to women who were uneasy with experimentation and expressions in the bedroom and are now developing the courage to explore their darker fantasies. So the question remains, why call it ‘mommy-porn’ when it is not a form of porn but rather a sensual sexual alternative from the missionary. So what is the real reason behind the popularity and intrigue?
Fifty Shades has become the source of fierce feminist and social debate, though it is nothing spectacularly new to the market. The same phenomenon was seen with the release of ‘Story of O’ which was an erotic novel published in 1954 about love, dominance and submission and yet too called a pornographic novel in its day. Story of O is a tale of female submission about a beautiful Parisian fashion photographer, O, who is blindfolded, chained, whipped, branded, pierced, made to wear a mask, and taught to be constantly available for oral, vaginal, and anal intercourse. Despite her harsh treatment, O grants permission beforehand for everything that occurs, and her permission is consistently sought.
Sound familiar? The element of arousal in Fifty Shades is that being experienced by the two key characters in all their slap, tickle, tie-me-up, tie-me-down splendour. The question remains, is this slap, tickle, tie-me-up, tie-me-down splendour, pornographic or actually an introduction for the readers into the inner workings and lifestyle of BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission and Sadism & Masochism). BDSM is a lifestyle where roles of domination and submission are played out, it gives people the opportunity to explore their fantasies and aspects of their sexuality. Statistics show that a large percentage of couples dabble in areas which can be defined as BDSM, it could be something as simple as a light spanking, blindfolding their partner, or tying their partners hands behind their back during lovemaking. Many people simply get a rush from being controlled or from taking control of their partner in some way, even if it’s just taking the roles of, say, teacher and schoolgirl as a form of foreplay.
The intrigue generated by 50 shades was evident at this year’s Sexpo held in Johannesburg, where the bondage lounge was introduced by http://www.kinx.co.za (online fetish store) and http://www.collarme.co.za (Largest BDSM community in S.A with over 8000 active members). Over 7000 people flocked to the stand, waiting in never-ending queue’s just to get a glimpse and learn more about the art of spankings, medical play and floggings and the sexual rush created for stimulating pleasure. http://www.Kinx.co.za owner Burninglash; says “In today’s world there are so many people out there selling leather and fetish gear which is cheap and is of a substandard quality which poses the risk of harm to the body. That’s why at KINX we are about support, offering knowledge and selling the best quality “made for play” products around. “. An increase in demand for particular sex toys featured in a sex scenes between the book’s two main characters, the dominant Christian Grey and ingénue Anastasia Steele such as riding crops, restraints, blindfolds, floggers, and nipple clamps have become popular.
Some couples may cringe and raise their concerns around the fine line between BDSM and abuse. BDSM is consensual, and entered into willingly by both partners. In BDSM the fundamental premise is that both (or all) parties are having their needs and desires met within negotiated limits. Basically this means that everyone involved is getting a kick out of what is happening between them. While some activities may be, or appear to be, painful, the recipient desires them and finds them pleasurable and/or cathartic whereas in the case of abuse, there is no consent.
The Pandora’s Box of sexuality has been opened, missionary is out and sensual sexual alternatives has climaxed. Mommy- porn will always be available, though BDSM is the spice that many couples have been looking for that adds flavour whether novice or advanced. Some may still opt for missionary, while others prefer it hot and tantalising. It all boils down to your own sensual preferences and beneath unlikely exteriors rages dark passions within us.

The Hanky Code

Posted by kinxfetish on April 13, 2012
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment

It is believed that the hanky code was developed in San Francisco during the gold rush of the mid-1900’s. As there were too few women in the town at the time, men would dance with each other (and more, no doubt) on Saturday nights. A handkerchief tied around either arm would signify whether the man wanted to lead (left) or be lead (right)

The practice was revived in the mid-1970’s  in San Francisco and extended to signify different sexual interests by means of colour. The practice seems to have died out a little, though those into fisting tend to continue this useful habit more than others.

Colours can be used in several ways beyond a hanky in the back pocket – striped armbands are popular, as well as piping or stripes in jeans and chaps, stripes on jock straps look great too.

The list has been added to over the years with some rather tongue-in-cheek colours and patterns which only served to confuse things. Herewith a back- to-basics list:

Colour                                     Left                                      Right

Black                                       SM Top                                  SM bottom

Yellow                                     Watersports Top                  Watersports bottom

Red                                          Fister                                      Fistee

Navy Blue                               Fucker                                    Fuckee

Grey                                         Bondage Top                         Bondage bottom

Green                                      Daddy                                      Boy

Light Blue                              Wants to be sucked               Wants to suck cock

Brown                                     Scat Top                                   Scat bottom

Orange                                   Anything, now                          Nothing, just cruising

Purple                                     Piercing Top                            Piercing bottom

White                                      Wants to be jerked off            Wants to jerk off someone

 

Leather Trends

Posted by kinxfetish on March 13, 2012
Posted in: Leather Fetish Wear. Tagged: Fashion, Leather, Leather Fetish Wear, Leather subculture, Leather trends. Leave a comment

LEATHER TRENDS- Working at Kinx has allowed me the opportunity to explore the trends in the leather scene both locally and internationally. Leather Fetish wear is fast becoming a fashion statement of trend setters around the globe. Gone are days were Leather Fetish wear was looked down upon, instead it’s become synonymous with fashion. I was trying to understand the history behind the leather scene and stumbled upon an informative website called http://www.cuirmale.nl/history/early.htm. This website took me through the early days of leather when people used animal skin to protect themselves following through to English Rockers, Leather in Pop Music to Leather in Cinema’s. Leather wear is so evident in today‘s fashion runways, from New York to Paris. Musicians such as Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj and South African based Jamali have brought back the fetish into leather. Being able to make someone feel sexy while feeling intrinsically comfortable is the art of Leather Fetish wear. So what’s new you may ask…lines, simplicity, straps, studs, fetish with a touch of class and naughtiness.

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